Strip Gypsy

I’ve been back in LA for almost a year and I’m suffocating. I think I’ve escaped a handful of times. Once to San Diego. I went to NYC for 3 days and felt like I could have stayed there for 30. This past winter I went to Palm Springs a lot to dance, relax, and thrift. At the risk of sounding like a complete hippie ( I have occasional hippie tendencies), I really think there’s something in the desert air that mellows me out.  

 I work at Desert Showgirls http://www.desertshowgirls.com/ when I’m out there.  It’s a pretty big topless club that gets packed on weekend nights during the season ( mid November to mid March). Lots of wealthy guys there on golfing trips or for conventions. They have a good variety of girls. Blondes, Brunettes, tattooed, fake boobs,real boobs, whatever. All are very pretty, or at least look really good under the flattering strip club lighting. The stage is huge with 2 poles. On busy nights they put 2 girls up there. You go topless behind the designated area. Private dances are $25 and $5 goes to the house.They do 2-4-1’s every 20 minutes or so and the songs are short, 2 min 30, which is great. Personally, I like the 2-4-1’s because guys always get them and they add up at the end of the night. There’s a section for the private dances against the back wall, but you can also do table side.  

The “VIP” area is a joke. It’s a sectioned off area with some couches, a mini stage, and a fucking ugly  gigantic chair shaped like a stiletto. The dances are the same price as on the main floor. I think the guy has to pay a $50 fee to sit back there or something, but why? It’s not like you get anything special back there. No free drinks. No hanky panky. The annoying thing for me about the VIP is that if I’m back there with someone who is spending $$$, I’m not exempt from the stage. In a normal VIP situation, I wouldn’t have to go on stage. This affects your money and annoys the customer.

The only other thing that really bugs me about this place are the rules. They just don’t make any sense. The dances are VERY strict. A guy can barely graze his hand against your thigh and the bouncer is up in your shit. It’s a “one leg on the ground at all times” kind of dance. No grinding, no knee in the crotch, no sitting on the lap for more than a second. Wax on, wax off.  It’s so hard to be good, but it actually works out for the best because no one can get away with being bad which keeps the game fair and square. Guys will complain about how lame the dances are, but they still continue to get them. The men are generous and they tip you for your time.  I think it’s the perfect combination of Vegas and LA. It has big spenders, but conservative dances. It’s easy to make $400/$500 during the season.  

House fee is $30 before 8pm Sunday thru Thurs. After 8 it’s $50. On Friday and Sat it’s $50 unless you worked a Sunday or a Monday shift then you only pay $30 if you get there before 8pm. The house fee is divided between the DJ and the security so technically you don’t have to tip anyone out. At least that’s what they say, but they treat you better if you tip the dj, security, and manager. I usually give the dj $20 and the manager $10 so that I’m in their good graces.  They want you to work 6 hours.

There’s a big locker room but you probably won’t get a locker unless you’ve worked there for 10 years. The girls are pretty cool and don’t really give you an attitude. Only one girl gave me attitude for “sitting in her chair”, but she apologized later. 

There’s lots of cheap accommodation near by. The Motel 6 in Rancho Mirage is the closest and probably the cheapest. And they have a pool!  Go with a friend, split the cost of the room. There’s a Trader Joe’s within close proximity if you want to eat on the cheap. I usually eat at Native Foods because I like to eat healthy. They have 2 locations. 1 in Palm Springs and another in Palm Desert. 

I spend my afternoons thrifting. There are some amazing finds out there. I just get a map and go through the phone book and mark all of the ones I want to hit up. Angel View is good. Goodwill.  

Yay for Palm Springs!

Yesterday, I realized that I’ve been a stripper for exactly 11 years. I quit for 2 1/2 years to work a production job in the porn industry, not that it was much of a stretch from dancing. For some reason, I can’t escape the world of girls with bolt-ons wearing clear platform heels, fake eyelashes, and $5 body spray. As tacky as they can be, I love my stripper friends and even some of my enemies. Which brings me to the whole purpose of this blog in the first place. In these dark economic times, we strippers are actually fortunate that we have this skill to fall back on. Not every girl can get up there and shake their ass with enthusiasm for a room full of guys. And hustling is an art form in itself. You think the perfume ladies at the mall have it bad, try convincing somebody to give you $500 just to wiggle around in front of them for a few songs. That being said, it seems like this job isn’t what it used to be. The days of averaging $1000 plus a night just to sit and look pretty are long gone. Today, customers seem to want a lot of mileage for their money. I can’t tell you the amount of guys who want you to paint them a detailed portrait of what they will get for a $20 dance before they decide to commit. It’s frustrating. Everyday, I see girls come and go, frantically searching for the perfect club. And Los Angeles has never been the best place to dance. Even in 2002, when I first moved here, I was struggling to find the right place with consistent $$$$. I would fly to Vegas, New Orleans, even Albuquerque…..follow the money. Basically, the whole point of this blog is to create a travel guide for girls who want to get out of town and make some cash. There’s still good money to be made, it’s just probably a plane/car ride away. I will be dancing my way across the country (and perhaps the world) and will fill you in on all the little details from cheap and safe places to stay to the in’s and out’s of every club I hit up, clubs worth travelling for and ones not to bother with, restaurant reviews, sight seeing, shopping, everything you will need to know to become a strip gypsy!